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for those who don't know... [Saturday
July 29th, 2006 @ 12:05am]

Hi all.

I just wanted to do a quick update for those of you who did not switch over to mariposaahora with me several months ago.

Here's my life:

-Melchor (my  fiancee  ex-fiancee) almost killed me about three weeks ago when he pulled out an 8 inch butcher knife on me- and almost strangled my dog. 
-He was arrested and put in jail for felony assault with a deadly weapon and kidnapping- (because he held me down when I had tried to leave).... but got out on bond shortly after. He was however presented with a protective order and so, he cannot come near me, my school, my friends, or my mom's house. The trial for that was on monday, and the trial for his charges is on August 16th.
-I have been living in different places for these past weeks- in Mebane with some friends, Durham with my mom (yeah, it was that bad that I stayed with my mom), and also with some friends in High Point.... all while trying to finish summer school.
-I am moving to a new apartment on friday, and I have been dealing with all the chaos and insanity that goes along with moving for the past week or so, and I will be till next weekend. I'll then only have like, 2 or 3 weeks till the fall semester starts.
-I have been assigned a therapist who I am going to start going to for the first time on tuesday. 

the end

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an evening to remember [Friday
November 18th, 2005 @ 11:11am]
[ mood | grateful ]

here they are...Collapse )


I need to go take a nap now... then type my spanish essay... then mail it... then go to work in crap land.

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November 15th, 2005 @ 12:02am]
Dag, 20 years.

a reflection:

I feel like this past year has changed me the most... with family things... school, Melchor... new job, new home... I feel like I am literally not the same person that I was one year ago. I am more serious, more aware... more organized... more a lot of things.

I want a lot of things for myself, and for others in my future. I wish people were closer to me. I wish I felt like part of a family... I almost feel more disconnected now than before my mom and I started talking. Now its really in my face: your family thinks you're a screw-up. Your mom thinks you deliberately tried to ruin her life. Almost all your stuff is gone.

but HEY LAUREN! I still have the sax, and I am going to sign up to re-start lessons in college next semester... just a little refresher course to get myself back up to playing condition. I guess thats another thing I really want on my list.

I feel like I will not want to do anything today... just chill and reflect and make decisions about the next few years of my life. I really wish I could set a date for my wedding. I feel like I do not want to get excited about it, or start planning for it, or even thinking about it till I know for sure when I will be done with school. God. School. I still haven't told anyone in my family that I am engaged. It's sad really that I am not even comfortable enough to tell them... hopefully it will be sometime soon.

I should just go to bed and let myself sleep late.
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$$$$$ [Monday
November 14th, 2005 @ 11:39am]
SO, the insurance company called today, and it was pretty much as expected. I can:
A) take 3,050 and get another car (and I would only get NEW)
B) take 2,500 and get my car fixed

I am going with B.
It won't cost 2,500 to fix the part I want to fix
=extra money left to save up/send Melchor's family/christmas shop/go on a real vacation
My insurance will not go up as a result of getting a new car
I will not be responsible for an extra monthly bill ie: car payment.
I already know my car well and how it responds to things
I've already invested time and $ into my car.

2 pick a branch

um, yeah. [Wednesday
November 9th, 2005 @ 3:16pm]
[ mood | overwhelmed. ]

here's my super schedule for next semester:
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...wtf is information systems? I have to take it for my major apparently. It better not have any math or computer related shit as part of it or I will fail that.

I love how my MWF classes have like, 5, then 4, then 3 classes by the end of the week. Mondays will be a bitch though. I am not sure how I am going to make it to my lab in 5 minutes, but whatev. Maybe that info sys class will let out early? *shrugs*

go to immigration seminar
clean bathroom
write sociology paper
participate in discussion board for GD
read notes for PR class; study for test on friday.
put together HAM's PR portfolio
wash black skirt/find white shirt for tomorrow.

Went to my mom's last night with Melchor to say happy birthday and give her a little something. She insisted on feeding us both, giving us wine, and filling up a bag of stuff (food related) that she had laying around the kitchen that she doesn't want. It was wierd, but I think some of the awkwardness has lessened. I still will need my space though, and I still need to write my grandmother a note and give her a piece of my mind about the way she treats me because I am getting sick and tired of hearing about how different I am bla bla bla...


go to HAM's at around 11, help decorate for a few hours (if I feel like it)
pack up all shit in the car that I need for work.
class 2-5
HAM's @ 5- PARTAAAAY....sing with Pedal Points (while at the same time working at Ham's) it's going to be effing chaos.


class 8-11.
sing at Stephanie's memorial service with PP's @ 2:30.
work at 5.


work 10:3-6ish
go to Chapel Hill.
consume alcoholic beverages if possible.


back to High Point around 5
film Spanish project thingy at 6.

go to bed.

1 pick a branch

sorry to keep everyone hanging... [Thursday
November 3rd, 2005 @ 5:29pm]
[ mood | gloomy ]

here's a handwritten post I did on monday:

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Image hosted by Photobucket.com
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Image hosted by Photobucket.com

I told my mom about the thanksgiving thing- that Melchor wants us to go... and maybe Robert should come... I also mentioned about maybe going out to dinner for her birthday... This is what she saidCollapse )


Image hosted by Photobucket.com

... and that's just the BACK. my car is kinda fucked. I hit a lexus. I was trying to get out of a horseshoe shaped parking lot and the exit was blocked, so I had to drive backwards all the way out, and in doing so, I got too close to the cars on one side, and clipped the left back of one of them with my right back and right side. It blew out my tire because I drove over the plexiglass covering from the other car's back light, so I have to get another tire too.

I took my car immediately to the car place reccommended by my insuracne agent and it was just going to be that I would pay them the 500 deductable and the insurance company would pay the rest of my repairs and for the repairs on the other car... but I took my car in today for the official estimate and apparently the total amount of damage was more than the blue book value of my car which MEANS a)the insurance only pays 75% of the damages and I pay the rest or b)I surrender my car to the ins. company and they pay me the blue book value of my car -the 500 deductable and use that to put toward a new vehicle. I have some decisions to make... and I am going to talk to Melchor about it too... but I think I am going to bite the bullet and pay for the rest of the repairs that ins. won't cover because I cannot get a new car for like, 2,600 and I refuse to get another used car... and IF i got a new car, my car insurance would be through the roof. At least I finally got that check from school which should offset SOME of the car costs.

I have to say though, that I was lucky the accident was a tuesday, and that Melchor was there for me throughout the whole ordeal. I was so shaken and so dicombobulated and just a mess... I called him from school and he rushed over from my apartment and just hugged me and reassured me and told me everything would be okay. He even took me out to dinner and a movie to try and get my mind off of everything that had happened. I know sometimes he does things I do not like, but I could not have wanted any other person there for me when that happened.

Oh yeah, and I still have 353080830 assignments/projects left to get taken care of for school... and I probably just failed a test today... and I have an oral exam to do tomorrow for spanish... and um, I sitll have not registered for next semester.


HAM's is worse than ever and I literally go home crying every night. I do not deserve to be treated the way I am there. I have never been treated so badly by peers, customers or managers anywhere in my entire life. I feel so trapped there. The job marked in High Point is shit. I might however, look into working at Dell or something in Winston Salem... but that won't be till after the holidays because at HAM's I am pretty much guaranteed christmas off since I helped open the freaking restaurant (which means I have been there as long or longer than any other employee)- if I were to start a new place like, now then I would probably have to work on christmas and stuff. I also talked to the owner of that Noble's place and he said a) I seem too burned out by the restaurant industry and I need to do something else and b)if I am not doing something else after the holidays, I should get back with him then.


Oh, and those assholes from the Matress store finally got around to bringing Nicole and I replacement matresses today but lo and behold they are so stupid, they brought the wrong size matresses- we have full beds and they brought QUEEN matresses and put them on the full size springboxes and like, did not even notice!!!! we had to run out of the door and call to them to come back up and take them- but they didn't want to. They said for us to sleep on those tonight and that they would bring us the right ones in the morning. LAZY FUCKERS.

*pulls out hair*

I shouild probably just go jump off a cliff.

10 pick a branch

Melchor! what did you DO? [Monday
June 20th, 2005 @ 6:24pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

So I got home from work yesterday to find that our previously barren livingroom had been furnished with a brand new coffee table, an end table, and a chair. Our porch now contained two new retro outdoor chairs, and my room a new table as well. Melchor went to the thrift store and cleaned up while I was at work. When I called him on my way home and asked him what he had done all day he said nothing, just kinda laid around. He was hiding under the covers in my bed like a little kid who knew they had been bad. I was just so excited. He said that he went over there and there was a half price sale going on for father's day. He said that there was also a dresser there and some other stuff he wanted to get but hadn't yet. So he and Nicole and I all piled into the SAAB and went. We came home with a new entertainment center (E-U-Nit!) that only cost us $15 AND a friggin couch that JUST happened to be the exact same style as the chair he had just got from there, and it was also $15!! The SAAB can fit more in it than one would think once all the seats are put down. We stuffed this big ass E-U-Nit in there first, and it started to POUR. We got home, unloaded it, and Nicole and I carried it up two flights of stairs while Melchor went back to the thrift store for the couch. Yes, he fit a couch in his car, ppl. It's one of those old ones that is made out of solid wood but has removable cushions. So Melchor came back, and HIMSELF carried the couch all the way up the stairs! So now, our livingroom is almost complete. We just need to get the bigger TV from Nicole's parents when we go for the 4th of July and some more decoration type stuff to put on the mantle and E-U-Nit. Our old coffee table which Sarah had the joy of experiencing is now our diningroom table which we are doing a japanese style with, having really soft cushions ont the floor to sit on and having everything be low to the ground. The Cushions are yet to be purchased, but our diningroom now has a definate star/moon yellow and blue theme which comes from our Van Goh "Starry Night" print that we have hanging on the wall. We got some KICKASS dishes from Big Lots today- for a total of $8. They are mix and match blue and yellow stripes. Pictures?Collapse )

I really don't like to brag specifically about my boyfriend because I am not that kind of person, HOWEVER. I would like it to be known that Melchor is the wonderfullest. I know that sometimes we have our ups and downs- just like any couple would... but he is always good to me. He BOUGHT ME FURNITURE and CARRIED IT UP 2 FLIGHTS OF STAIRS! He GAVE me his brand new 5-CD programmable Panasonic stereo for my room because he felt sad that I could only play music on my laptop. He drives here every weekend to see me, and he wants me to be the best person possible. He even bought me the book, "Meditation for Busy Prople" it is so cute. I feel like he wants me to succeed more than anyone else I have ever met, and that just in turn makes me push him further. He is now working TWO Jobs on top of going to school. He got up this morning from here at 3:30am, drove to Durham to deliver bread, did that till 10am, then went home and took a catnap and went over to the new Torrero's that opened up in Carrboro that he's been working at, and he will probably not get home till after eleven. I do not know how he does it. And then he takes off tues. and thurs. nights to go to school. I feel like I am being selfish when I ask him to take a day off once a week to be with me. I know that HE needs it as much as I need him- and that it will benefit both of us for him to be here sometimes during the week- esp. now that Rick finally came back from the Ukraine. Melchor needs a place where he knows he can always come and find peace- and that place is here. I love him, and cannot imagine ever being without him for the rest of my life.

Today was day 1 of Ham's training. I volunteeredto answer the 1st question of the day- and I got it right so I got $20! It was CRAZY having to learn the new computer sustem, probably just because I am so used to the Red Lobster one, and I kept looking for things in all the wrong places. We got to test out all the appetizer and salad items and MAN were they good! and we were all SO full after! We also got our key to the test that's going to be given tomorrow- and it's going to be HARD as crap! Nicole and I have to do some serious studying tonight! I have work at Red Lobster at noon tomorrow and then we are going to go for the night training session at 5:30. I REALLY need some friggin money!


1 pick a branch

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